sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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