his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
