can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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