batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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