wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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