Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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