I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just google imaged poop.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
