Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
