Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
