There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Enjoy the penises
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize