I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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