we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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