Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
