Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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