So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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