I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
