You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
