and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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