My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
