He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
