The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
