And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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