brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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