The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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