and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
