Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
