why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize