using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My vagina just recognized that song.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
