What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Never underestimate the power of titties
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
