No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
