come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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