My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
