i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
