i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
