Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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