I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
