We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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