I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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