allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
