In the future we'll all be gay
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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