I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
