He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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