I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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