She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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