That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
