sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
