i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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