On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She bit a glass in half.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
