I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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