Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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