whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
