I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
