You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
