someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
