Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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