am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
