I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
