I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
