Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
