And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
